I felt God’s whisper in my ear to do it. I’ve been living an emotionally, physically and spiritually vacant life and God knew I needed to find myself again.
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 7 years who also happens to struggle with depression. I love my kids, but I feel lost. I have been working so hard at seeking answers to my emotional “lost-ness” that I am burned out. I’ve joined bible studies, sought spiritual advice, prayed on my knees, joined more bible studies, and prayed on my knees some more. Somewhere along the line of being married and having two amazing kids, I became a self-loathing miserable person who can’t remember the last time she experienced true full-blown laugh out loud joy. Yes, I’ve done the fake joy. Anyone can do that. But you know what I mean; the joy that feels just as good on the inside as it appears on the outside. I miss that. I have felt kind of sort of “dead” for a while.
World Vision came into my life and managed to shake things up. Or God did. The day World Vision made their presentation to Willow McHenry about the marathon I felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks. There was absolutely no question in my mind that I was supposed to do this. I told my husband “I’m signing up”. He said “are you sure you don’t want to go home and think about it?” I said “NO! I won’t do it then”! Well, I did sign up and I just ran 12 miles on June 27th. I will be running 14 more this coming July 11th.
I have never been a runner. I still don’t consider myself one. I just know I’m supposed to do this marathon. It was more than the goose bumps I felt when the World Vision video came on. It was a true opening of all the doors and windows to my heart, mind and soul and God whispering to me “do it”. So I did.
The day I ran 7 miles for the first time I came home and my 7-year old daughter had made a card in the shape of a heart that says “I’m proud of you, Mommy”. I asked her why she’s proud of me and she said “because you ran 7 miles”. That card is with me every step I take. Every time I come home from a run she asks me how many miles I ran. You ask me why I run? I run to show my kids I’m more than just a “mom”. With every mile I conquer I show myself I can do it and, therefore, so can they.
It’s not easy. I am not a morning person. Recently finding out that our 7AM runs will soon begin at 6AM does not thrill me in the least. I am a night owl. I don’t like to go to bed early so I can get up at 5AM to go run. There are days I want to quit, but I know I’m in the midst of a spiritual transformation and quitting would let myself down on so many levels. I want to make God proud. I want to make my family proud. I want to make me proud. I know I am doing this to raise money, but this experience is far bigger than that. It’s meeting people who won’t keep running without you, should you need to stop. It’s getting emails from your team members cheering you on and praying for you when you need it. It’s being part of a mutually supportive endeavor that some of us have done before and some of us have no idea what we’re getting ourselves into, but we’re all there at 7AM every Saturday morning and greeted with encouraging smiles.
I want to show myself and my kids that anything, at any age, is possible. It’s never too late to go for it. My kids have always inspired me. Now, it’s my turn to inspire them.
Julie Mleczko
